TriAptitude Coaching

I’ve taken a little summer hiatus from many things triathlon this season.  This has included my blog writing and for that I am a little bit sad because I really enjoy sitting down at my computer and sharing my thoughts.  Part of me has avoided it on purpose these past few months because I was just not ready to share my thoughts online. Then another part of me has  just been really enjoying my family and all things NOT triathlon related!   It’s been a really great summer!   I guess I had gotten so used to multitasking to the max during the past few years that I’d forgotten how relaxing and rejuvenating the summer can be when you are not stretching yourself in 100 different directions.  Undoubtedly,  it took doctor’s orders and forced post surgery recovery to slow this girl down.  I promised myself back in May that I would give myself until September to be mellow and try to allow at least 4-5 months of true recovery before I mentally wrapped my mind around “training” again for a specific event.  To be completely transparent though, I kept my fall race registrations in place in the hopes that miraculously I would feel strong enough to jump right back in and toe the start line. Yes, that’s the A-type personality in me. Oh, Imagine that, a triathlete with an A-type personality!

Here I am, weeks away from said events (even days away from one), and I just feel……well, not ready.  Why I am surprised, I do not know.  I guess I was expecting to jump right back into things like nothing had happened ?!?? It’s one thing to recover from abdominal/pelvic surgery and feel good doing daily activities. It’s definitely another to be Ironman 70.3 race ready.  As athletes, we often take for granted the fact that we train for months consistently to build our bodies up to a specific level of endurance and strength.  Once there, if we train consistently, we are able to maintain a strong level of fitness, even in the off season.  Obviously, that level of daily activity is much different than my surgeon’s definition of “daily activity”.  He did after all tell me at my 6 week postop appointment that I was released to do “normal” activities. But, stressed that normal for me is not normal for the general population. That made me laugh out loud.  And, of course, I am really eager to get back to my definition. Four months seems like a long time to me. But, my body is not quite there and I am coming to the realization that this rebuilding to race shape thing may take longer than I would like and certainly be a bit more challenging than I had hoped.

I have had so many people reach out with e-mails and messages thanking me for being so open and honest about my surgery and recovery. I have tried to share the good, the bad and the ugly- hey, that’s the reality of it all, right?  I have my ups and my downs, my strengths and my set backs, my moments of success and the days I get off my bike and I cry because my body just can not yet do what my mind wants it to do.  And, my mind is playing tricks on me too- “You can go out and race and just keep it fun and you are ready.” But, then my body says, “Nope- I am not ready to run yet for any length of time and that mileage on the bike is just too much for me at this point.” It’s a bit of a battle between body and mind. And, to add to the frustration of it all, there is really not a lot of good information out there to research when I Google “when will I be ready to race an Ironman 70.3 triathlon event again after a total vaginal hysterectomy and pelvic floor reconstruction”.  Hmmmmm, this worries  me a bit because it might mean that not many women do this?? Or, maybe they just do not want to share. And, I completely get that too.

So, that makes me feel like I am a little bit on my own in this to try to figure out what it means to get back into high caliber race shape at the age of 48 years old.  Luckily, I have several women who have been through this and have shared a lot about their return to high level activity with me.  For some, it has gone almost effortlessly although has taken time and patience.  Yet, those ladies were also much younger than me when they had surgery.  In general, I get that it is a progressive rebuild with several steps forward and then maybe a step or two back.  Gradual improvement but set backs along the way.  So, I guess I just need to settle in for the long haul and focus on where I am going to be 12 months out from surgery rather than where I am on this particular day. It is within this framework that I have decided that I will in fact not be ready to be on the race course until 2019.  Yes, I am disappointed.  I really wanted to get out there for at least one event this fall.  I was hoping for an end of the year motivational event to get me pumped up for next season.  But, I am just not ready.  This is hard for me.  But, hey, it’s the reality right now and I have to embrace that and set goals further out for myself.  There is no point in going out too early and risk major set backs.  There is a lot to be gained in understanding one’s limitations and working within those parameters as they grow and change for future success.  I choose that path.  My mind chooses that path. And, well, I am ever hopeful that my body will be following that path as well.

It’s good to be back writing and sharing. Thanks for reading 🙂