TriAptitude Coaching

I used to think that in order to be a successful mother and wife, I had to focus 100% on my family.  How else could I do everything that needed to be done to adequately maintain a happy and healthy home life for the five of us? I quickly learned that this is a recipe for despair and burn out.  I had to learn to let go of the “Mommy guilt” and allow myself the time to be me- the Courtney who was not only a mother and wife but also the very important one who is also a daughter, sister, teacher, coach, athlete, volunteer and friend.  I was leaving important things off to the wayside and I was becoming frustrated, lonely and overwhelmed. Now, make no mistake, being a mother is one of the greatest gifts any woman could wish for if it is what she desires.  But, there is a balance needed to allow for the happiest of homes with a mother who nurtures her sense of self away from her role as a caretaker for others and one which allows care for herself.

Balance is hard to find and even more of a challenge to maintain.  But, it is essential for the smooth running of a family and for everyone’s emotional well being.  In our family, it includes a weekly calendar so that I can keep track of all of our activities before and after school.  Depending on the season, we have a lot of extra curricular events going on with three sons.  Organize those events around my husband’s work and travel schedule and my personal work and coaching schedule….well, it gets a little crazy at times.  Luckily, my husband and I have found a way to work as a team to divide and conquer the tasks at hand in the evenings.  It usually involves one of us driving a child (or two or three depending on the day) to sports practices and the other picking up one….or two….or three at the end of practice.  Crock pot meals have become a huge help to me so that we can still have a sit down dinner as a family every night.  I feel like it is the only time for us to gather together for a period of time and actually catch up on each others’ news of the day.  So, it is a priority for us as a family.

In general, I do not over-schedule our life.  Our sons typically have one afterschool sport each season. Connor finished football in November. Matthew finished soccer and now has a short break before starting up again in February. And, Tommy started lacrosse this fall with a 4 week camp and will play for the Spring season.  We now have a quiet month and then basketball starts up.  All three of our boys are playing basketball this season- December through March.  Honestly, if I added anything else to the program, it would be chaos.  Add in homework and dinner after practices – it makes for a long day for everyone.  But, if I can manage to be home and ready for my kids when they get off the bus from school, then they are reassured that Mom is available and present for them.  My commitment has always been to do the majority of my coaching and training on weekdays when my children are in school. This is not always possible as I try to do some group workouts with my athletes on the weekends.  But, I do try to plan so that it has minimal impact on my family schedule.  I feel better all around with this personal balance. It makes me a better, more focused athlete; it allows me to be fully present for my children when they need me; I am happier because I feel less stressed trying to do too much; I am a more successful coach because I use my time more efficiently.

The trick though is that I can balance my life as such.  I have the flexibility to do so. Not everyone has this luxury, right?  I work in the fitness industry as a cycling and triathlon coach.  I am able to make my own hours and train when my children are in school. I can write training plans for my athletes when my children go to sleep at night or before they wake up in the morning. I have a workout room in my basement where I can coach athletes and also do my own training if needed while my children are playing at home. I do not have a typical 9 am to 5 pm full time job.  It becomes more challenging when you are trying to organize a full time work schedule with long training hours and a family balance.  That is something that each of my athletes must find for themselves as they start their training seasons. But, I do understand these challenges and I have worked through them to find a harmony to our lives – well, at least not a disharmony.  That is one of my personal goals as a coach- help my athletes find this balance for themselves so that their experiences are happier as they meet the rigors of training for multisport events and also nurture their relationships with loved ones and thrive in their workplace. Every athlete has different needs in this way and that is one reason why an individualized coaching experience is important for success.

Finding the balance that is right for you may be one of the biggest goals you set for yourself this season.  It takes some navigation of time and effort to find a schedule which works for not only you as the athlete but also for your loved ones.  Family support is vital for success.  Disharmony at home means disharmony of self.  Nurture everything- do not lose sight of the importance of your everyday activities and let training be all consuming.  Keep things in perspective and make sure it stays fun for you.  Respect and honor the people around you who make it possible for you to focus on the personal goals you have. It often takes a true team – family, friends, teammates, coaches- to accomplish our greatest dreams.  It rarely come just from ourselves.  The love and support you find in others will fuel you.  And, the balance you find for yourself so that you can nurture those relationships will make you a better athlete, wife, mother, sister, husband, father, brother, friend.  Peace and best wishes to you all.